Payback PPV Preview & Predictions

Predicting the Matches

Pre-Show: El Torito vs Hornswoggle (Mask vs Hair Match)

It’s been a while since WWE has done a Hair Match. This match is a good indication of why that is. If Hornswoggle is the only guy they could find for a Hair Match, then we might be in trouble. This match does nothing but carry on WWE’s pandering to toddlers. In recent weeks El Torito, a “little person” wrestler who wouldn’t be 5-feet tall if you spotted him two feet, has beaten Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, and Jinder Mahal. None of those guys should’ve lost to him, but WWE has so ruined three fairly promising wrestlers that there is nothing left to do. From what I can tell, it seems like 3MB is more over than Los Matadores. But WWE will probably have the little bull win again. After all, those toddlers with their epic merchandise buying power love him.

Winner: El Torito (Hornswoggle has his head shaved)

Match Card (as of 28 May) 

Dean Ambrose tries to figure out
what he's supposed to do with
the United States Title...

United States Championship Match

Cesaro vs Sheamus (c)

Sheamus is a character that is staler than three week old bread. Cesaro is a character that showed a lot of promise on an impending babyface turn, but then aligned himself with Paul Heyman and reverted to some heel tactics. Don’t be surprised if these two pull off a double-turn at Payback. Cesaro’s moveset is better suited for a babyface. Sheamus needs something to freshen his character. Turning heel is probably the best thing for Sheamus at this point. As much as I would like to see Cesaro win and these two engage in a long feud for the title, I just don’t think it will happen. Sheamus hasn’t been champion very long, so letting him hold the belt for a while, defending along the way, will add prestige to the title. He's already defended the belt more in his few weeks old reign than Ambrose did in over a year.

Winner: Sheamus* (see post main event notes)

Divas Championship Match

Alicia Fox vs Paige (c)

Alicia Fox has been a Diva on the rise lately. Her antics after her last few matches have garnered her loads of attention. She actually scored a pinfall victory over Paige while WWE was in London. Don’t expect that to mean anything, though.

Winner: Paige

Intercontinental Championship Match

Rob Van Dam vs Bad News Barrett (c)

There is no way Rob Van Dam wins this match. Sorry. Not happening. WWE has too much invested in Bad News Barrett. His character, since winning the IC Title Contender Tournament and taking the belt off Big E, has been rejuvenated. RVD is just a road bump for Barrett to get over. There are bigger fish for Barrett to fry over the summer months.

Winner: Bad News Barrett

Tag Team Titles Match

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan vs The Usos (c)

This match is not announced, but I can see it being made at the last moment. Harper and Rowan have proven they can hang with anybody. The Usos title run has been largely forgettable. Of course, this is not their fault, as Creative keeps booking them as lackeys to John Cena instead of a team standing alone. For that reason, I can see Creative putting the titles on the Wyatt Family. It would make any challengers who eventually won the titles that much better for taking them away from such behemoths.

Winners: Harper & Rowan

Daniel Bryan / Stephanie McMahon WWE World Heavyweight Championship Segment

McMahon gave Bryan the ultimatum on Raw: surrender the titles or Brie Bella is fired. I doubt Bryan will surrender the titles. I figure Brie Bella will not be fired either, or will only be “fired” in terms of storyline. Stephanie McMahon has been the key villain of this storyline. It’s possible that she sets Kane on Brie when Bryan refuses. Bryan tells her to stop but she claims that she cannot control the Demon Kane. Just as Kane grabs Brie for a chokeslam, Bryan surrenders the title. Stephanie tells Kane to stop, which he does, and she takes the belts. Once she is out of the ring, she mocks Bryan's YES! chant, and then has Kane chokeslam Brie anyway.

Result: Bryan surrenders the title, Kane attacks Brie Bella

Last Man Standing Match

John Cena vs Bray Wyatt

This should be the payoff to what was a great feud that turned into a fair-to-middlin’ feud. Wyatt was set to bring the monster out of John Cena. Instead, Cena once again overcame the odds to win at WrestleMania 30. Then, in a steel cage, Cena very nearly overcame Wyatt, Harper, and Rowan, only to be scared by a small child, allowing Wyatt the weakest cage match victory I’ve ever seen. Now, we have the rubber match. Most of the adult fan base is behind Bray Wyatt. The soccer moms and toddlers are solidly in the Cena camp. I don’t mind Cena winning, so long as he resorts to some underhanded tactic to do it. If Cena wins simply because he’s John Cena and hustle, loyalty, and respect will always overcome, and John Cena just does not lose a last man standing match, then this entire feud will be rendered meaningless. Cena has already debased Wyatt enough by mocking him in his promos. Wyatt’s promos cut to the bone. Cena’s promos are thinly-veiled poop jokes and bad photoshop. Truthfully, Wyatt needs the win here. But we said the same thing about their match at WrestleMania.

Winner: John Cena (just because)

No Holds Barred Elimination Tag Team Match

The Shield vs Evolution

This is basically Batista’s last match for a while, as he has publicity duties for “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Expect Creative to come up with some means of eliminating him from the storyline without compromising his character. The war between these teams has been ugly. Each team will alternate eliminations, likely in this order (Ambrose, Orton, Rollins, Batista). This will lead to Triple H standing against Roman Reigns. The bulk of the rumor mill has pointed to Roman Reigns being swayed into joining Evolution. While that remains a possibility, I’m taking another route. Batista will not immediately leave ring side, but will instead try to help Triple H win. Inadvertently, though, Batista will cost Triple H the match. When Reigns celebrates the win, Batista will hit him from behind and begin to beat him down. Rollins and Ambrose will rush back down, but Evolution will gain the upper hand.

 

At that point, Sheamus’s music hits and he rushes to the ring. Evolution clears the ring, but Sheamus delivers a Brogue Kick to Seth Rollins. The Shield retreats, and Evolution, with Sheamus celebrate in the ring. Triple H gets a mic and delivers a promo about evolving to survive. As he finishes the promo, Sheamus delivers a Brogue Kick to Batista. Triple H then Pedigrees Batista. Afterward, Triple H, Randy Orton, and Sheamus celebrate at the top of the ramp, where they are joined by Stephanie McMahon, holding the WWE World Heavyweight Championship belts.

Winner: The Shield (though Evolution ends the show on top)

Post-Main Event Notes:

If the Main Event plays out as I’ve written, then it’s likely Sheamus drops the title to Cesaro. Sheamus would not need a title if he joins Evolution, and losing the first match of the night would set up the surprise turn at the end. Should Cesaro win, do not expect the double-turn, as Sheamus’s heel turn would come in the post Main Event brawl.